Before meds, I was a wreck (I still am, but not because of the ADHD, LOL). I had debilitating anxiety, the anticipatory kind. I hardly ever left the house and could never "finish" anything at home...I always felt like I wasn't doing something...and if I was, it wasn't "right". Not being medicated regularly for the past few days has me feeling that way, again. I don't know what to do.
Actually, I don't know how to make myself do it...
Certain media outlets, and others, leave me feeling like my "good enough", is not good enough. My house upkeep is not good enough. How many times I feed my kids, per day, is not enough. I cannot concentrate, enough. I don't listen, enough. I don't say, enough. I feel scared. And incapable. I am irresponsible. And lazy. I drink too much caffeine. I don't take my meds regularly and I really fall apart. Just realizing this after a few days of a sporadic discipline, that and I'm kinda manic...
I mean, what is wrong with me? Something, obviously. And with 90% of the population. Google it, if you don't believe me. If there is "nothing" wrong with you then you're either abnormal or lying. And most of you are lying. There's shyt wrong with all of us...but there's only a handful of us in any crowd willing to take an honest look at ourselves. The rest of the population blame and make excuses and ignore. I am who I am, like me or not...but don't judge me, it's not nice.
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